Drowning slowly in sweet-and-sour sauce

... and being gassed to death by their fumes. All fun and games in the public service industry. Man, do my feet hurt. But I shouldn't really be complaining... I have money in my wallet. This is a very good thing. However, I know where it's all going to go. This isn't such a good thing. It means I'm on a budget. Grr. I hate budgets. I have to put money on bus card, phone, cable car tickets, visa... but before that, gotta sort out my tithe. I've been quite challenged about tithing recently, and even though the poor student in me is protesting hotly that I cannot afford it, I am tithing. And it turns out I can afford it. Actually, when I tithe, my finances sort themselves out much easier. Funny, n'est-ce pas?

Well. I survived my first week of university without too many problems, something I'm really quite proud about. It's been a good week, when all is said and done, but I'm glad that it's over. It's rather unusual that this is my life now, though. I still haven't quite got used to the routine. I do like seeing Julia and Nick most days, and I like making new friends. Suzie commented last night that she thought it was cool I can talk to anyone and make friends, and I've come to realise that it's a habit I properly developed in Canada. I like people. What can I say? I like talking to strangers. I just need to be a little pickier and stay FAR away from old men. I'm just friendly, I guess...

Weird how life changes, though. I find it ironic that I no longer talk to people I considered my best friends a year ago - well, at least not properly talk. My former best friend and I don't seem to have anything in common - funny how we survived me being away for a year, but once I got back, things unravelled. I feel like I'm the only one making any effort these days. If we talk, I end up making a fool of myself, and it's evident that she'd rather be somewhere else. I just ask myself if our friendship really meant that little to her - maybe it did. I don't really know. And my other former best friend just has a very different lifestyle, so it doesn't surprise me that we no longer talk that much. Still, at least it's not uncomfortable like it is with Bec. Maybe it's just in my head, but I do get the impression that she wants to have as little to do with me as possible. I was probably easier to deal with when I was on the other side of the world. At least with Mike, he's still him and it's almost like old times when we hang out.

There's a big part of me that wants the BecMike entity back, because man, we had some good times. I guess everything passes in God's good time, but it hurts anyway. Thinking about it, though, not being as close to them has forced me to make new friends, and I have met some awesome people. Nick and Filo are great guys, and cool to hang out with at uni. And I've gotten a lot closer to Suzie, who I've known for a few years, but it's different now. My youth group are pretty much family, and that's awesome, too. I've also gotten closer to Lauren, who I've known vaguely for over a decade, but yeah - she's awesome. Then there's all the randoms at Crossroads I've gotten to know - actually, we could probably put most of the SA youth in the division as randoms I've gotten to know. Still, there is a part of me that misses the way Bec, Mike and I could hang out and be completely at ease with each other. If we tried to replicate that now, it'd just be a nasty, uncomfortable event. So I have to accept that. It's hard, but it's life.

I didn't really mean to wax nostalgic, but hey, it's still an issue for me, I guess. I'll wind up here before I get into full-blown self-pity mode, but hey, venting's good, right? Meh, maybe Scott had a point in his comment - "you're insane!". (I think he was referring to getting that old man's phone number - I told Suzie that story last night while he was at her house, and it was rather well received. Like I said - gotta get pickier with my strangers.)

Okay then. Jetting.

ALP,
Rosie